Wendy Martin Specialist Fertility and Miscarriage Counselling
General Counselling

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Welcome

I would like to extend a warm welcome to my website.

Whether you have had counselling before or this is the first time you've considered seeking professional support for a difficult issue in your life, I hope I may be able to offer something that can help you at this time.

I have been a counsellor for twenty three years and have a wide range of experience in individual and couple therapy.

My specialist areas are infertility and miscarriage support as I have been involved in this field since 1996.

I also offer counselling to those couples for whom their fertility treatment is coming to an end and who are thinking about having a family through adoption.

I counsel couples who are experiencing difficulties in their relationships - either due to infertility difficulties or for other personal reasons.

And finally I have experience in supporting those who sadly may be going through divorce or separation - particularly those involved in the collaborative divorce process.

Individual and Couple Counselling

At times of stress or distress counselling is the chance to talk through the problems or dilemmas you may be facing with a skilled therapist. This allows you to discover your own way to a greater understanding of yourself and your problems and find your way towards the solutions that work best for you.

Please click here if you are interested in individual or couple therapy.

Infertility and Miscarriage Counselling

As a specialist infertility and miscarriage counsellor my field of expertise is in counselling women, men, couples, single women and lesbian couples who are experiencing difficulties having the family they desire. I can offer specialist support if you are:

 Undergoing fertility tests, investigations and treatments

 Suffering miscarriage, multiple miscarriages or ectopic pregnancy

 Having fertility treatment or donor conception either in the UK or abroad

 Contemplating being a solo mum using donor sperm

 Having to make the decision to terminate a much wanted pregnancy

 Ending or not even able to start fertility treatment

 Considering adoption

 Experiencing secondary infertility where a longed for second child eludes you

 Facing a life without children for whatever reason

 Experiencing the grief of having no children in the later stages of life

Please click here for more information on Counselling for Infertility and Miscarriage.

Coping Strategies for Infertility and Miscarriage

If you do not feel counselling is what you are looking for but think you could benefit from help to reduce the stresses and strains that arise when trying for a baby, I also offer a range of tools and techniques which I have gained over many years working as an infertility and miscarriage counsellor.

These self-help tools can enable you to maintain your equilibrium and well-being as you face the challenges such a journey can bring.

If you would like more information on how you might reduce your stress and distress levels whilst you are trying for a family please click here.

Therapy for Divorce or Separation

If you are feeling emotionally shaken because your relationship or marriage is ending, talking to someone at this difficult time may help you see a way through the challenges you are facing.

Please click here if you are going through divorce or separation and would like to see how counselling could help you.

~ ACCESSING MY SERVICES ~

Face to Face in North Bristol

If you live in or around Bristol or in the South West of England I can see you at my practice room in Bishopston, North Bristol, UK.

Click here for a map. The post code is BS79DR.

Brynland Avenue is a one-way street that runs south, parallel to the A38 (the Gloucester Road) and is situated conveniently for the city centre, the M32, M4 and M5. Free parking is available in the streets nearby.

Counselling by Skype from anywhere in the UK or abroad

If you don't live in or around Bristol or it is difficult for you to get to face-to-face appointments you can arrange counselling by Skype in the comfort of your own home - from anywhere in the UK.

A counselling session by Skype can be just as helpful and effective as face-to-face sessions and I work successfully both as a general therapist and as an infertility and miscarriage counsellor with clients from all over the UK as well as outside the UK.

I am happy to talk through with you how to download Skype if you don't have it already.

Feel free to enquire for more information or make an appointment

Thank you for taking the time to browse my website. I hope it has been of some help to you.

If you have any further questions I'm happy to talk things over with you without obligation.

Email: [email protected]

Text or phone: 07847 263 874

Web: www.wendymartin.org

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Tips for Mothering Sunday (or any other big family event)

For most people Mother’s Day is a lovely time of celebration, but if you have been trying unsuccessfully for a baby and are not yet lucky enough to be a mum, it can trigger a range of painful feelings and can be a heart-breaking reminder of your lack of a family.

Understand and accept yourself
To get through this day, you need to accept that it’s OK and completely understandable for you to be feeling the way you do and that, given your situation, you are responding perfectly normally.

Accept that others may not realise just how painful this day is for you
Some of the people around you (particularly family and friends with children) may find it hard to understand just how difficult Mother’s Day can be for those struggling to have a baby.

Rather than fight against this and build up resentment towards those who lack the empathy you need, it can sometimes help simply to accept ‘what is’. Accept that those closest to you don’t mean to be insensitive or un-empathic, it’s just that they genuinely don’t get how hard it is for you. I often say if you wait for people to understand you and take care of your needs, you will wait a very long time indeed!

Think through how you can best manage the day 
So, you need to take care of yourself on this challenging day and work out what is going to be the best way for you to cope. Think about it in advance and talk your fears and concerns through with your partner or a close friend. Plan how you might best manage this day and be realistic about what you can and can’t do. Try to make the day as safe for you as you possibly can. Here are some tips:

~ Make your mum’s Mother’s Day really special
Divert your attention away from your own loss and sadness at not being a mother by giving yourself over to making it a lovely day for your own mum – but in a way that makes it more manageable for you: -

~ Make a unique home-made Mother’s Day card yourself
Rather than go into your local card shop and be faced with all those Mother’s Day cards perhaps you could make a personal home-made card for your mum. You don’t have to be a great artist – your mum will love it whatever you do. Just get creative!

~ Invite your mum for afternoon tea at your house – and make it very special
If you can’t handle going to a pub or restaurant and being faced with all the other mums, families and children then invite your mum to your home – for a special breakfast or afternoon tea – and treat her like a queen.

~ If you do go out for the day think about how you can best manage it
It may be hard for some to avoid the big family gathering so you might need to think about it in advance and work on how you will cope with this highly challenging situation: -

~ Have a getaway plan
If your family know you have been struggling to have a baby, you could explain to them that you might be understandably sensitive and that you may not stay as long as you normally would. Enlist the help of someone you trust to explore an exit strategy that enables you to get away if it all becomes too much. 

~ Find ways of avoiding certain topics of conversation and divert people from particularly difficult lines of enquiry  
On a day like Mother’s Day there may be a few insensitive questions about your plans to become a mother. These are like little jellyfish stings and it makes you feel uncomfortable. Remember, you don’t have to answer. You could think about having a stock phrase like “Oh I’m not thinking about me right now – it’s mum’s special day” and then divert the attention from yourself by saying something lovely about your mum.

~ If you can – simply escape from it all
If you are able to avoid Mothering Sunday and get away completely, then try and plan something as pleasurable and self-supporting as possible. Go for a long walk in the middle of the country where the chances of seeing families is reduced – and take a picnic if it’s a nice day. Or book in a spa day and luxuriate for hours in peace and tranquility. Perhaps you could go on a long car ride to somewhere interesting. Or maybe a bit of retail therapy might help – treat yourself!

One way or another you need to look after yourself, be kind to yourself and give yourself permission to have feelings you have. Although it
is not like you, remember, like many others who are going through what you are, you are reacting normally. You will get through it!
 
 
 
 



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